Inside: A Christian Momma’s answer to gender confusion.
My kids have great imaginations. They can turn my living room into a restaurant, serving the best plastic food invisible money can buy, or the lair of an evil sorcerer who has captured their family, or just a complete plain old mess of lego creations and random toys. One of their FAVORITE things to do is dress up. We have costumes of all sorts, from silky scarves to superhero capes & princess dresses to cowboy hats. Sometimes they fight over who gets what, but we manage to work it out.
Recently, my 3 yr old son brought me a pink ballerina skirt and asked me to help him put it on. Nope! Sorry, buddy, that is the girls’ costume. Let’s find something else for you. He whined. I told him to pick out something else. He cried. I stood my ground.
Was I wrong not to let my son wear a costume clearly meant for a girl?
Today’s culture would certainly tell me so!
Let’s just be logical for a minute.
My 3-year-old son sees his 2 sisters dress up as princesses and want to be like them. He hears them talk about being mommies someday and wants to be one too. On more than one occasion, he announced that he is a girl. Hmmm…our culture would call this “Gender Confusion.”
He ALSO crawls around on all fours and says he is a puppy. He stomps around while roaring and tells us he is a dinosaur. This morning, while the older kids did chores, he announced that he was going to be a VACUUM when he grows up.
HE IS 3!!!
I don’t let my 3 years old choose what the family will eat for dinner. I don’t hand him the checkbook and let him create the budget. And I definitely won’t let him DECIDE his gender!! The fact that he is a little boy was determined by God the moment of his conception and it is unchangeable. One could make the argument that, with hormone therapy and surgery, a boy can become a girl and vice versa. You are wrong. What makes a boy a boy is the Y chromosome. That canNOT be changed.
One may argue that a person who “feels” like a different gender was born “wrong.”
I disagree again.
My son often feels he has the right to hit a sibling when they won’t give him what he wants. He is wrong.
He often feels he can lie to avoid getting in trouble when he disobeys. Still wrong.
He often feels he can refuse to go to bed when I tell him it is time. Wrong again!
My husband and I are teaching all of our kids that what they FEEL is not what should guide their actions and behavior. Just because they feel a certain way, that does NOT mean they have no choice but to act on it. It is time to stop feeding our children the line, “Follow your heart!” to see how it feels when they are making their decisions. Our hearts constantly lead us astray!!
As Christian mothers, we should be directing our kids to follow Jesus.
God doesn’t want our eyes on our hearts, because hearts aren’t designed to be followed. Hearts are designed to be led and directed (2 Thessalonians 3:5). God wants the eyes of our hearts enlightened to see the real treasure and pursue it (Ephesians 1:18). That’s why he tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). God doesn’t want us to erroneously think we follow our hearts; he wants us to know we follow Jesus.No One Follows Their Heart, Jon Bloom
My 3-year-old may sometimes have “gender confusion,” but it is just that – CONFUSION. I remind him that God created him to be a boy and God doesn’t make mistakes. I will continue to correct him when he tries to control mealtime, bedtime, or playtime. And I will continue to correct him when he says he is a girl. I love him too much to allow his sin to control him.